First-time fathers have no idea what you’re in for. Sure, you might have been around babies in the past, but this is so much different. The difference is that it’s your baby. You feel so differently about the baby since it’s yours. The happiness, wonder, and at times frustration that you go through are all real. The problem that many first time fathers have is they don’t allow themselves to feel. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times if that’s how you’re feeling. No one feels pure happiness all the time. You will feel guilty sometimes when things begin to overwhelm you, but it’s all a part of fatherhood.

You take your baby home from the hospital, and you can’t believe how happy you feel. The world is such a fantastic place. Then, all of a sudden, the world around you crashes. It does crash, and you’re not sure how to cope with anything. You’ll begin to feel moody, and things aren’t going to be the same. Why is that? It’s because now you’re not sleeping very well. How can you sleep when you have a newborn baby crying all the time? Every minute of the day, you are worried about the baby in some fashion. If you’re not worried, then you’re running around the hour house with a million tasks that need to be done.

You are going to feel awful for the first few days. You so desperately want to continue to be on cloud nine, but it doesn’t work that way. Every second of your day is now consumed with the baby. As the days turn into weeks, you start to feel it wearing down on you. The guilt you feel inside is real because, as you tire, you feel like you should be doing more. You start to knit pick the things you’re doing wrong and tell yourself that you’re a terrible father. None of it is true; you’re a human and not a machine. You’re wearing down because you’re not sleeping and eating right.

After the newness of being a father wears off, you begin to notice that other things are taking a backseat. Your guy friends might be calling up, asking why aren’t you going bowling anymore. Coworkers keep asking if you’re going to go out for a drink after work one of these days. All the things that you used to do, you’re no longer doing them. If it’s any consultation, your wife isn’t doing the things she used to either. Her time is probably more focused on the baby since most mothers these days are back to breastfeeding. She can never be too far from the baby since it will want to eat.

New fathers have a way of becoming shocked when they see how much their lives have changed. Sure, you expect there to be a little blimp of change, but it’s not what you expected. As time goes on, you’ll begin to see that all of your life has changed. No part of your life is the same. As this new significant change overwhelms your life, everything around you becomes different. If your life doesn’t become different, then you’re doing something wrong. You can’t bring a person into this world and not expect your life not to change radically. You didn’t expect the changes to be so drastic, but that’s how life is sometimes.

There are two answers to that question, and they are equally important. It’s going to take some time for you to feel the way you once did physically. You’re not eating or sleeping much right now. Also, you’re constantly running around the house. Life is difficult, and it’s going to remain that way for quite some time. As your baby gets older, you will notice things beginning to change a little. It doesn’t get easier; you get more used to it. You’re still changing diapers and waking up all hours of the day, but it’s not the same. You fall into a routine, and each of you has positions that you take up.

When will life resemble the way it was before when it comes to not only how you feel, but all the components of your life? It won’t. Your life is never going to be the same again. The world you live in right now is your new reality. There is no going back to the old way of life. Do you really want to? That’s the question you need to ask yourself. Your life now should be so much better that you wouldn’t want to go back to the old way of doing things. Sure, having a drink with your pals is fun, but it’s never going to be the same again. You can’t expect something as life-changing as being a parent not to grip you in every way possible.

At times it will feel like the world thinks you’re Superman. You’re going to work with less than a couple of hours of sleep. You eat leftovers, and your clothes are dirty. Does all of that sound familiar? If it does, it’s because you’re a real dad. No superheroes are living under your roof. Both mom and dad are real people who get tired, grumpy, and hungry. You aren’t a machine, though, at times, you feel like one. It’s not easy being a parent. Anyone who thinks it’s easy needs to take a step back because they’re not doing something right. Parents who care about their children go above and beyond the call of duty. That means you get little sleep, skip meals, and wear clothes that you had no idea when they were last washed. That’s called being a dad, and you should wear that honor righteously.